Ugly Duckling???

There once was an ugly duckling, with feathers all scruffy and brown,
And all the other ducks said, "quack, my God, quack, quack, oh my God, You're too mingin' for L.A. town".

The poor little ugly duckling was laughed at and teased and he cried.
He withdrew from the word and stayed in his room and away from the world he would hide.
His gnarly rough feathers were covered in tears as he reached for the biscuit tin,
He sat there and balled as he looked in the mirror; He now had a double chin.

The years they passed by as he sat in his room, immersed in the dreams in his head.
The Pixies, Bob Dylan, Wilde and Bill Hicks, his best friends while he lay on his bed.

When Uni came round he packed up his bags. He prepared for life in a battle,
He waddled on campus despite points and sneers in a college just north of Seattle.
The classes he chose were both varied and fun and the things that he liked the most,
Like politics, arts and the history of man, way up on that Pacific coast.

He learned to play drums, even formed his own band but just of the online kind,
Too afraid they wouldn't accept his strange face, anonymity was best he did find.
But from all of this work that he did on the net, he hatched a plan one fine day,
To start a podcast with music and chat and just see where his venture might stray.

He discussed John Lennon, the Pope and Iran, his honesty won him some fans,
With humour and research and knowledge and style a change from the usual fake tans.
A few months went passed and just by word of mouth, the listeners numbers grew big.
Refreshing to hear him not speak of himself like the usual self righteous pod-pig.

A radio station not far from his flat, got wind of this show on the web
And over the phone he was offered a job, he'd be heard from L.A. to the Leb.
His wages as well, quack quack oh my God, he couldn't believe his blind luck.
By just being himself he could do just fine for such a strange and fat ugly duck.

Now in his 50's with a wonderful wife, he opens the news every day
And reads about all the ugly real life that goes on all the time in L.A.
With divorces and face lifts and prescription pills and battling the day that you die
He smiles at his wife with his four meals a day.........polished off with a nice pecan pie.